孤児 (koji) wrote,
孤児
koji

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Hate Me



It's been awhile since I've dreamed, let alone of you. I know I can't see you anymore, so I thought dreams would be a welcome blessing to ease that knowledge.

You offered me that sweet smile and soft voice, but it was through those distant eyes that let me know the words were sugar coated lies to hide your true emotions. Others were there too, one that shared my pain and gave me quiet looks of sympathy as we were both at a loss for words in your presence. Another was mentioned, sleeping, but able to make an appearance upon waking. They were the one you'd turned against me, and I knew if they found me there it would be an emotional mess.

Nothing much happened, but you turned on the music that made me remember us, the emotions, and the self-hatred. This song was playing as three of us sat alone together, and you just looked so calm and relaxed as if it were mere coincidence and the words meant nothing. I left and wandered outside, singing the words aloud to myself and fighting the tears. Even in my dreams, you are able to smile and act gentle towards me, while finding ways to make my heart sting and my head scream it's all my fault things fell apart, and chase me away. How do you do it? It almost seems a practiced art by now, and you are nothing less than a master.
Tags: dreams, feels, heartache
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic
  • 0 comments